I'm Yours

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
....
So, I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait I'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take an entirely secular song and reinvent the meaning to produce some sort of biblical application. Yup. Here goes...I feel like we should be singing this song [Jason Mraz, by the way] to God. ...I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to say this, or that it will come out right...but I'm going to try. Sorry for any lame analogies or metaphors I may or may not bring up. Anyways, why is it we put God on hold? Why do we wait to follow his commands and urges as if there's some sort of magical time we're putting it off for?...just waiting. Partly procrastination, but mostly just...waiting.

I feel like the typical "average" christian. I go to church. I believe wholeheartedly in God. I try to seek him...I try to map my heart to follow his. But I've encountered a problem. I'm lazy. Am I willing to take up my cross and follow him? I mean - literally? To what extent am I willing to give away my personal comfort for the sake of Gods call? I don't know.

There are many levels to this question. One I think about most is that of the great commission. I know we've all heard it before..I know I for one have heard it in church, or seen the 'scare-factor' email forwards that relay this very subject....but...if I believe what I say I believe, why am I so lazy? Why do I wait? For what am I waiting on? Why aren't I screaming on the streets about what I know to be true? Yeah, this is about the salvation of souls, guys.

People are going to live in eternal damnation. I mean, literally, holy crap. People are going to be tortured for all eternity....Many faces I've seen of relatives, friends, people on the street.....will be contorted in misery when the time comes. Unless something is done. They'll burn. They're going to be gone, and it'll in a sense be partly my fault. I'm positive you know someone, many someones who don't know God. Yet I for one know that I act as though it's not really going to happen, that eventually it'll all be okay and no one will have to go through that torture. I can almost feel tears of rage towards myself welling up in my eyes for that false reality I've created.

But it's a scary place to be, that place of denial.

I have to take responsibility.

Matthew 13:50 - and throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Revelation 14:10 - that person will also drink of the wine of God’s anger that has been mixed undiluted in the cup of his wrath, and he will be tortured with fire and sulfur in front of the holy angels and in front of the Lamb.

Revelation 14:11 - And the smoke from their torture will go up forever and ever, and those who worship the beast and his image will have no rest day or night, along with anyone who receives the mark of his name.”

And to think that I'm not doing much to stop it. I should probably have tears streaming down my face for the sorrow and loss of those I love, and the many other unbelievers who won't hear, or reject the truth. I should be screaming the truth with all my might.

But I don't scream. And I'm not crying. And even though I recognize this, I'm not moving, am I? No, I'm just sitting here. Writing this crappy blog post. That no one will probably ever read anyways.

[sigh]

God, I want to be Yours. Help me rid myself of this awful apathy that clings to me like a choking vine that won't let go.


But I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I'm yours

and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention

Christianity, if false, is of no importance,and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. - CS Lewis