"The finest amusements are the most pointless ones."

At the age of eight and four, my sister and I invented a game. This game was only played when we were stuck alone by ourselves, usually when we were eating lunch. I'd have my nose stuck in a book, the flap being held secure under my plate. Eventually Katherine would intervene with an impatient interruption, ever so bored.

"Hey! hey - no - *grabs book* pay attention to me! Wanna play rude man nice lady?"

*sigh*

*grabs for book to no avail*

"......"

"Okay."

From then on, we were assigned a character. We always fought over who got to be the "Rude Man". I mean, obviously. Any excuse to be rude, especially when there's food involved, is simply too good to be passed up. So we'd bicker for a while, cut a deal, and then depict the characters given. "Nice Lady" would fold her hands, make polite comments, cut her food into small pieces, and proffer napkins to "Rude Man". "Rude Man" would grunt, shovel food into his mouth, spill his drink, and eat off the "Nice Lady's" plate. This would get very tedious for "Nice Lady", so soon she'd try to distract "Rude Man" from his annoying games and make small talk, which went as such.

"Lovely weather we're having, wouldn't you agree fine sir?"

*grunt, flicks mashed potatoes on face*

"Mhm, yes. Enjoying your meal today? I hear the potatoes are a real hit."

*rolls eyes, grabs handful of potatoes and throws it*

"Excuse me sir, please refrain."

"Pshaw!"

*makes faces and steals my food, eating the dessert and mushing the sandwich*

"Hey! Stoppit!! Katherine! I'm telling mom!"

"No! You can't! I'm RUDE MAN. So there!"

We both would abuse the position of "Rude Man", to our enjoyment and the others annoyance. This game always ended in a fight, or in a resignation - usually from "Nice Lady". She'd take her lunch away and go watch Full House.

True Story.